All the small things…

Been awhile since i’ve posted, but yes, this has been a busy time!

Someone made a comment that made me think…they just seemed to indicate that…deep inside, they had doubts that God would hear our prayers, or that God wouldn’t bother himself over “small” matters.

Somehow, comments like these stir my senses…and yes, i think that i want to put such things to bed. In my mind, God is profound, yet…He is also profoundly SIMPLE. When we were children, didn’t we have those nights (or even days!) when we would plead, beg & even promise our best behaviour for things we wanted? Hey…i bet some of us do it now also…=)

But as we “grow up”, we think that these things are “childish”, and display a lack of “maturity”…hmmmm…maybe, that’s not a clear understanding of God.

I think God is BIG, He is omnipotent & omniscient, He is all-powerful & all-knowing, and yes, He has given us the gift of prayer for us to partner with Him in the work…and make no mistake, prayer is hard work, prayer is a muscle, one that we flex in the heavenly realms! I think sometimes we forget that it is so…and that’s why we give up praying for something or someone, or we begin to “reason” things out for God…like…”Oh…God is too busy to hear my repeated prayers”, or “God doesn’t need us to keep bugging Him over this matter…”

Well…i see it the other way really…sometimes, we do not know what is important to us until we are willing to get on our knees for an extended period, to really place it before God. I think that perseverence in prayer is not FOR God, it is for US, it is to build us up, and draw us deeper into intimacy with our Father. It’s not a “small” matter to God, nothing is too small for Him, and anything that causes us to run to Him, is actually something that God uses to build our relationship with Him.

Like a kid talking to his father, we can babble nonsense but our father would still love it because we are desiring to connect with him, we count him important and want to chat with him! That’s a really important part of prayer that is so easily missed out.

And yes…i KNOW that there are no “small” matters to God, because He Loves us and knows what is close to our hearts, so God understands even if our deepest desires feel “immature” or “childish” to us…

And to the other matter…it is not “bugging” God when we constantly go to God for the things on our hearts, or for recurring prayer prequests…and more importantly, it is NOT a lack of faith that God will answer, rather…it is the practice of persevering in prayer, and bringing important matters to God constantly. I can say I display monstrous faith if i pray once for the salvation of those close to me and never do it again…but in the book of Daniel, Daniel prayed for an extended time before the answer came, and the prayers made a crucial difference! This is what i believe…God has given us a portion in prayer, we have a chance to pratner God…and yes, that is our part to play, we cannot slack, we have to be faithful and pray…so yes, i will always enjoy the privilege of Prayer! It is such a joy to be able to meet with God over EVERYTHING and to know that He cares deeply!

Affected…

Hmmm…i think i’m getting a sense of what it means to be disaffected…or maybe, it’s a combination of being disconnected & affected…haha!

I’m supposed to be in the process of moving, shifting house from where i am now (Aunt’s place) to moving back home to my parent’s place (2 streets away)…It’s supposed to be a gradual move because there is no place back home, and yes, last update was that my sister is in the process of moving out of her room, but…that is pretty much just a locational move, because the cupboards are still filled with her stuff, and the room is packed with my mum’s stuff also…so yes, basically, there is NO space at home.

So…in the past few weeks, i’ve been taking the time to pack and to get my stuff over each weekend…the good thing is that almost all my books are over, however, all my clothes are still in my aunt’s place…it has led me to feel disconnected, like i’m stuck in 2 places…and now, i guess i’m feeling it so much more, because i know there is no cupboard for me, no place to put my clothes, so if i move over completely, i feel like i’ve got to live out of a bag…that’s ok if i’m on a mission, or if i’m camping for a week or so…but i cannot picture myself living like that out of my own home…

However, I think i’m really in stress mode now…when i came back to my Aunt’s place on Friday, i saw a push-trolley with a bunch of my stuff on it, & it was NOT a welcome sight as i opened the front door…I just felt really…urrrggghhhh…words cannot describe it

And yes, i have to admit i am affected…
As if feeling like i’m living out of 2 places is not enough, i get no sense of peace each time i get home cuz of the incessant need to pack & hearing that i need to get the stuff over…guess i didn’t know how affected i was until today…and now, the worst thing is that though i have no room back home for me, i’m being “pushed” out of where i am, my stuff is put at the door for me, and i have no get the feeling of being unwanted…affected…yes, definitely…

well…just blogging to get my feelings out…this is much better than acting out somehow…

sigh…

Simplicity of Soul…

“People have powerful images of what a perfect body is, and pursue it incessantly.
But…they no longer have any image of a perfect soul, and hence do not long to have one.”
Alan Bloom

This quote is making me ponder and reflect…
And my immediate gut feel is that…this is sadly, very true

When I read Nat’s blog post about people dressing up to come to church,
about how they walk in late, and the outfit screams “LOOK AT MEEEEE!!!”
Wow…that was a really startling and stark reality check…(ref: Bloom’s quote above)

Yes…makes me wonder what we are believing in, and how we’re living it out…

Maybe that’s why, when i enter the sanctuary, I want to be in the front worshipping God!
I’m glad that being in front, there is seldom anyone disturbing me…
walking around wearing whatever it is they are wearing,
It’s heartening to know that’s all behind me (figuratively & in reality)
And that though, yes, i know that’s a reality,
Yet…i can choose to not be distracted and hone in on God

I realised that in the sanctuary, i have this habit of fixating on the Cross…
It’s not that i’m thinking of any deep thing, but i like to look at the Cross,
it centers me…and it just looks so…apt…there…
Simple, brown, no frills, on a white wall, and it looks like it’s floating there…
God makes life so simple & easy for us, yet we choose so many distractions…why?

We prefer the “good-to-have’s” more than the “best” from God,
If it were looks or function…frequently, looks would win out…

My yamaha guitar is a rarity nowadays, i think it sounds awesome,
cuz the wood has opened and matured, so the sound is really full…
yet, Taylors and other newer, “nicer” guitars have come along,
and some of these look good, have a brand, but really…hey…aren’t they all guitars?

Playing well, having a good-looking guitar, a thousand different things we can debate about…
but put ANY guitar in the hands of Jesse or Kevin, & they would sound more awesome than a fab guitar played by a newbie…

We so often miss the point that it is scary…
Our identity no longer comes from within, from our confidence in God…
Instead, it is becoming…things, what we wear, what we do, how we appear, what others think…
I remember trying all that before, and becoming hopelessly lost in self-defeatism…
When my esteem is based on things external, i begin to flounder when those are taken away…
Gradually, in my mellowing years, i’ve disregarded the things that are not foundational to me
Homing in only on what is solid, simple, true…

Back to the simplicity of Knowing only ONE,
When i know God, everything else makes alot more sense…
Maybe that is why i fixate on the cross…
Maybe that’s why during worship, i lift my eyes and refuse to look at others,
Maybe that’s why we have times dedicated to ONLY God…
Maybe that’s why i Love being in the sanctuary worshipping ONE only…
Worship is special to me, not only because we’re singing & lifting praise to God who deserves it all
It is unique because on great days, I can envision that this is what heaven looks like…
People in passionate expressions of worship & God delighting in our praises.

What is eternal and has significance should always take precedence over what isn’t.
That’s why i love it when i get to play with Krislyn & Meimei, Isaac, Taylor and the rest of the kids!
When i do, i get a sense of what Jesus felt when he said “Let the little children come to me”
It was a sense of love, delight, divine Joy, and totally unabashed affections!

Maybe that’s why I love to spend time with the people that i do…
just little bits of moments here and there, some aren’t very long,
But i do want to spend those moments, because they are significant

And i Love God’s simple reminders…Like Yuxuan…so simple and child-like
I love my encounters with God through him! =)
Like the time his eyes lit up when i gave him the BB handshake, because he was delighted to find out i was a BB boy too!
And then in youth camp where God touched him and he came to cry with me…
And back in church weeks after, when he came by to call me by name and shake hands…
I appreciate that though he finds my name hard to pronounce, he always tries to!
Gosh…such God moments…

I think that at the end of the day, i will not remm what people wore, i may not remm what they said…
but i will remm the moments God spoke through them, i will remm the times our hearts connected,
I will remember the significant moments that God gave when i did not deserve/expect Him to.
At the end of the day, the things that impact my soul will be easily, effortlessly remembered…

And yes, i think that’s the right order of things…=)

Behold…Beauty!

Colours

I like tones, shades, colours, textures…
Most of all, I like it when beauty shows itself,
And speaks of the mighty splendour of the God who made it all! =)

I admire how beauty at its core is all about simplicity…

how clear and simple it all is if you really look at things…
there is no need to hide, nothing to obscure…

Pure Joy, Genuine Delight…
they show themselves in a baby’s laughter,
the wide grin of a satisfied lil one,
the majestic mountains topped by a brillant sunrise,
mirror-like waters reflecting the setting sun…

I’m standing in awe once again…=)
You truly are wondrous to behold Lord!

Nice!

Besties Bliss

Just felt like posting this…
Why? Maybe cuz i can’t on blogger…
and i can over here! HAHA!

But yes…been wondering why life turns like it does now?
From new beginnings, and strange wanderings,
I’m led to wonder, to sense that awe…

Returning to a place where I need no answers,
Just that assurance once again,
that in your arms…in your hands,
there we lay safe…no matter the storm.

That’s why i like the picture above!
Brings a smile to my face
and a bubbling forth to my heart!

Thank you Lord! =)